A disappointing set-back


Published On: 11-25-2011 10:07pm

Comments: 0 - Hits: 10

Category: Not As Easy As It Seems

I think I've mentioned here before that I'm trying to get into the local Arts & Crafts Fairs circuit.  I've mostly done smaller fringe group sorts of events - aimed at a specific and somewhat small group of people (ie: the steampunk vendor fairs I did earlier in the year).  The Shoreline Arts festival was the first larger festival I've tried and I had good results there.  It's hard to get into the crafts fairs on an unemployment budget - especially since there's no guarantee of making that money back.  Still, if you don't try you definitely won't succeed so I have been trying some of the middle of the road (price and attendance wise) festivals.  People don't realize how much some of these cost to vend at.

I sent in my application and a check for $150 (as well as another check for a jury fee) to the Phinney Neighborhood Association for their Winter Festival this year.  The application included 2 pages of pictures with description of items and prices for the jury to consider.  A friend helped me with the descriptions, making the pictures look as good as we could (in the time we had) and printing the pictures for me.

Today I got my pictures and check back with a rejection letter.  It was nicely worded and talked about how many more applicants they had this year than last year, etc.  No matter how nicely it's done the fact is that the disappointment starts right at "We regret..." and it's hard to focus on any positives or bright sides for awhile after that.  I'm still waiting to hear about 2 other things I've applied for.  On one hand it's hard to be left hanging - to not know what's going on.  I was just thinking yesterday that I hoped I'd hear something soon.  Be careful what you wish for I guess.  On the other hand once you do know and the answer is "We regret..." then the hope is gone and you're left flailing around about what to try next.  It's pretty much too late to apply for anything else of largish size this year.  I'm left with biding my time and working on my skills until later in the year when the next years festivals will start taking applications.

I think this is hitting me extra hard right at the moment because I just seem to have so much uncertainty in my life right now.  I have just about a month of unemployment left and I'm finishing up a 2nd week in a row of having a really difficult time finding jobs to apply for.  Unemployment is still really high in this area and while people blithely say to go get some "throw away" sort of job they don't seem to understand that not only is there a lot of competition for lower paying jobs as well, the managers/owners of those businesses are not stupid.  I have office work and IT work on my resume for most of the last 20 years.  This tells them that as soon as a better job comes along I'm out of there.  At the same time I don't have enough skills/experience to transition into another technical job at this point.

I digress.

I'm finding it hard to keep my spirits up and be confident in my work as a jewelry designer and accessory crafter right now.  I'm not selling on-line, I'm not selling at many of the events I've been at, and I'm having a hard time getting into larger events.  This all plays merry havoc on my insecurities as an artist.  I can't help but keep wondering if I'm wasting my time and effort on this - if I would be better off letting it go.  I die a little at the thought so I keep trying.

Some days it's really hard.  Some days I struggle.  Today is one of those days.

Comment on this Blog Post